IVisited My Ex-wife’s House and Saw My Kids Fundraising — When I Found Out What for, My Heart Sank I never thought that going to my ex-wife’s house would involve a cookie sale that would alter everything. However, little did I know that when I walked up to my kids’ small fundraising booth, I would be having the hardest, most heartbreaking conversation of my life.As I entered my ex-wife Goldie’s driveway, the sun was lowering, creating elongated shadows on her immaculate lawn.
My name is Nathaniel, and I used to live here as well. I’m 38 years old. It’s merely a further indication of how much has changed now.Although Goldie and I parted ways eight months ago, we’ve made an effort to maintain good relations for the sake of our children, Jack and Sarah. They are essentially tiny children, ages 7 and 5, enmeshed in the chaos we have created. So far, you know, we’ve been able to co-parent without a lot of turmoil. Taking shifts picking up students from school, scheduling weekends, all of it. However, I could not have been more unprepared for what transpired that night. I was stopping by to pick up some paperwork I had left behind from my previous visit. I saw Sarah and Jack sitting in front, fundraising, as I killed the engine. A little table was prepared with an array of toys and sweets. My pride grew within me. Take a look at my self-starting youngsters!With a slight stiffness in my knees, I got out of the car. Aging, I suppose. I walked over, patting Jack’s hair as I got closer. “Hey, what’s all this, champ?” Sarah looked as happy as a Christmas tree. “We’re raising money for a special cause, Daddy!” I smiled and grabbed my wallet. “Well, I’m unable to refuse that. How much is a cookie worth? Jack extended three fingers. “Three dollars!”I arched an eyebrow. “A cookie costs three dollars? You’re baking something really elegant there.” Sarah gave a somber nod. “It’s for something really important, Daddy.” I sensed something wasn’t quite right as I was going to inquire about this significant cause. Goldie had not shown up to greet us. It was strange. Even when our relationship isn’t the best, she usually comes out to at least wave. I wanted to check it out for myself as I assumed she was probably chained inside. “Please come back soon, kids,” I urged as I made my way to the front door. “Save me a cookie, okay?” As soon as I entered the house, I felt a rush of nostalgia. The sound of the ancient grandfather clock in the living room ticking away, combined with the comforting aroma of Goldie’s favorite candles. It resembled going back in time. “Hey,” I yelled, my voice resonating along the corridor. “What are the kids raising money for?” Goldie emerged from the kitchen with a stressed-out, pinched-face expression on her face. She had a speck of flour on her cheek, most likely from making those cookies that cost three dollars. “What?” she inquired, her tone betraying her uncertainty. “I thought they were just playing in the backyard.” I scowled and pointed to the front door. “Well, no, they’re setting up a table in front and collecting money for a cause. You were unaware?” She massaged her temples and groaned. That gesture was one I recognized. She does that in an attempt to prevent a headache.“I’ve been occupied with packing your belongings and handling the necessary paperwork. I had no idea what they were planning.” At that point, our old tendencies of bickering gave way. She retaliated against me for continuously criticizing her parenting after I accused her of not paying attention. Then we both realized what had happened. Nobody was benefiting from this, least of all the children. “Look,” I murmured while inhaling deeply. “Let’s just go see what they’re doing, okay?” Goldie wiped her hands on her slacks and nodded. Yes, you are correct. Come on, let’s go.” I couldn’t help but notice the pile of boxes in the corner as we made our way to the door. My attic stuff, all packed up and ready to move out. One additional indication that this was no longer my home. We moved outside onto the veranda, with the cold evening breeze caressing my skin. I squatted very close to the table and spoke softly. “Hey everyone. For what precise purpose are you raising money?”Jack gave me a glance with those large, naive eyes. The identical eyes that used to beam with joy upon my return from work, pleading for one more bedtime tale. He declared, “We’re raising money to buy a new Daddy!”My stomach fell as if I had just stepped on something while heading downstairs. “How come? Did you just say that you’re attempting to purchase a new father? I looked over at Goldie. Her eyes were wide with shock and her face had gone pale. God, no, no, she said in a trembling voice. “Where did you get that ridiculous idea?” “Mommy said that Daddy is sick in the head, so we need a new one,” Sarah added. I had the impression that I had been punched in the gut. I glanced at Goldie, and I saw the terror spreading across her face as well. Our children had a glaring misunderstanding of the terms of the divorce. They took it as a sign that I was leaving permanently and that they would have to find someone else.Goldie bent over and took their hands tenderly. Her tone was gentle, reminiscent of the times she would reassure them following a bad dream. “No, sweethearts, it wasn’t my intention. Neither Daddy nor we need a new one is ill. Even if we are moving out of our joint residence, Daddy will always be your father.” I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. That’s correct, I was able to respond. “I’ll be here for you at all times. Our family hasn’t changed; we’re still close. Guys, you don’t have to raise money to get a new daddy. I am your DADDY forever!” I was heartbroken by the confused expression on their faces. How could we have made such a huge mistake that our children felt I needed to be replaced? For the next hour, we sat on those front steps and tried to make sense of what divorce actually meant to Sarah and Jack. Now that the sun had fully fallen, the porch light was softly glowing over us. We often told them that nothing would ever change our love for them, which was more than everything in the world.Sarah asked, her forehead wrinkled in concentration, “But if Daddy’s not sick, why can’t he live with us anymore?” My heart began to shatter once more. How would you explain this kind of thing to a child? I began, very carefully selecting my words, “Sometimes, adults decide they can’t live together anymore.” However, that doesn’t lessen our affection for you.” Jack’s bottom lip quivered, and I noticed tears welling up in his eyes. “Did we do something bad?” “No!” Together, Goldie and I said. I hugged him, felt his little body quiver with tears. “This is unrelated to you people. You did not act improperly. Sarah said, “We just want things to go back to normal,” her face wet with tears. I looked over at Goldie and saw that she was fighting back the tears as well. With a raspy murmur, “I know, sweetheart,” she said. “But sometimes it’s nice to change. Alright, let’s establish a new normal together.”“But why?” With his words muffled against my shirt, Jack questioned. “Why can’t you just love each other again?” That question came like a huge brick in my mind. How can you tell a five-year-old that love isn’t enough all the time? “Oh, buddy,” I exclaimed, sounding like a choked gasp. “Yes, I do love you, your mom. We shall always do. However, adults occasionally require different things in order to be happy.” “Are you happy now?” Sarah enquired as she looked across my face. I noticed that Goldie’s eyes were reflecting the same pain as mine. “We’re working on it,” I said truthfully. And you know what would truly bring us joy? observing your two happiness.” Their anxious looks began to soften as the night went on. We discussed how things would proceed, how they would spend time with both of us, and how our family activities would still be done together.Sarah raised her gaze to us, hope shining in her eyes. “So, we don’t need to sell cookies and our toys to get a new Daddy?” I forced a smile and tousled her hair. “No, you don’t. But hey, perhaps we could sell cookies to raise money for those in need, right? Why don’t we work together to raise funds for a worthy cause?” That thought brightened up their expressions, and for the first time that evening, I thought maybe we hadn’t blown it all. “Can we help kids who don’t have toys?” Jack enquired, the thrill of a fresh idea erasing his previous tears. I gave him a soft squeeze and remarked, “That’s a great idea, buddy.” We can investigate several nearby nonprofits together. Perhaps locate one that aids underprivileged children.” I was filled with regret as we sat there, organizing our next fundraising endeavor.For an instant, I regretted what my wife and I had done when I saw what the divorce had done to my children and how bewildered they were by the abrupt shift. Perhaps we ought to have waited a little longer before saying goodbye. Nevertheless, I knew we had made the correct decision when I looked at Goldie and saw the same mix of concern and affection in her eyes. Even though we were no longer a family, we were nonetheless close. Yes, different, but yet incredibly loving. “You know what?” As she stood up and brushed off her clothes, Goldie replied. This seems like a good time for some ice cream. Who’s allowed in?”The children applauded, forgetting their earlier anguish for a little while. I met Goldie’s eye as we made our way inside. She smiled slightly and gave me a hug, which I gave back. Though we still had a long way to go, perhaps we could manage to adjust to this new normal.And that was all that mattered just now, with the promise of ice cream and the sound of our children laughing filling the air.
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