After losing his cherished spouse, a bereaved dad rediscovered love with his fiancée. However, during a family meal, she joked about his deceased wife, deeply unsettling him and his children, prompting a serious reevaluation of their relationship.
On October 13, 2023, a father anonymously shared his ordeal on the “AITAH” subreddit. He began by explaining he had two children, Sam, 21, and Liz, 16, with his late wife Kayla. He became a widower when his children were 15 and 10 after Kayla died tragically in a drunk driving incident while returning from work. This loss deeply affected the family, and he pledged to avoid dating for a few years to focus on his children’s welfare.
Three years post his wife’s demise, he met a woman named Amanda. They took their relationship slowly, introducing her to his children after a year. By then, they had been together three years and were engaged.
Despite Amanda’s earlier feelings of insecurity about his past and her questioning of “what if” scenarios, he reassured her about their current relationship’s significance. Eventually, Amanda ceased making such comments, and he felt more at ease about their union.
Everything appeared favorable until a family dinner at his parents’ home, celebrating their engagement. Attendees included his parents, his late wife’s sister and her spouse, his children, and Amanda. The dinner started warmly, with lively discussions and wedding plans. However, the mood shifted when his mother innocently commented on his newfound happiness with Amanda, comparing it to his past with Kayla.
Amanda’s response to this comment was shocking. She laughingly said, “I’m happy she died, otherwise I would have never gotten him to myself,” leading to a stunned silence. Realizing the gravity of her words, Amanda tried to laugh it off as a joke, but the damage was done.
Liz reacted with revulsion and left for the car. Sam awaited his father’s response, but he was too shaken to speak.
In the ensuing days, the rift among the father, Liz, and Amanda widened. Liz stopped speaking to both her father and Amanda. The father discussed the situation with Sam, who expressed disdain for anyone disrespectful towards their mother. These discussions planted doubts about continuing his relationship with Amanda.
Struggling between his affection for Amanda and his duty to his children, he contemplated the impact of Amanda’s comment on his family, especially Liz. Determined to prioritize his children’s well-being, he considered ending the engagement.
After waiting for Amanda to go to work, he called Sam for a crucial family meeting. He told his children the wedding was off, citing Amanda’s comment as completely unacceptable. He apologized for not addressing the situation earlier.
Liz shared her disgust and indicated Amanda’s attempts to distance her and her brother from their father, suggesting moves for college against their wishes. The father apologized for not recognizing these signs earlier and reassured them of his unwavering support.
Deciding to end the relationship with Amanda, he emphasized to his children that they were not at fault. He also planned to confront his mother about her inappropriate comment and intended to keep his home a supportive environment for his children.
After discussing the incident with his mo
ther and confronting Amanda—who reacted indifferently until he ended their relationship—Amanda expressed her reluctance to “house someone else’s kids for life.” This confirmed his decision, leading him to ask her to leave. Although heartbroken, he prioritized his children, allowing his son to move back home and focusing on rebuilding their trust.
The father, supported by online advice, took measures to mend his family ties and ensure their well-being, affirming the importance of moving forward together.
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